Act One

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Prologue

Ancient Egypt - an exorcism is performed, and the demon Nikolas is banished to an idol. The exorcist warns that the idol must be kept safe, and the Hell would reign down on those who tampered with it in any way.

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Christmas Miracle

Present day. Sixteen year old Tegan drills a hole into the very same idol, covers it in glitter, puts a string on it and hangs it on a Christmas Tree.
 

A Perfect Christmas

Christmas Morning 1992, USA. Tegan's father Warren wakes up to his least favorite day of the year; with the nasty surprise of his recently ex-wife's mother Dot, who has checked herself out early of the nursing home, unaware of the divorce. His new partner Linda, pretends to be Warren's sister, with Dot's inheritance the incentive. Presents are exchanged, and Tegan receives a crucifix necklace from Dot, and a very strange gift from Santa.

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Almost Anything

Tegan is on the phone to her boyfriend Nick. He tests how far Tegan might be willing to go for him. It turns out the strange gift was from him. Warren picks up the phone in the other room, but can only hear Tegan's voice. He assumes she has an imaginary friend. Tegan unwittingly invites Nick inside her, and the demon Nikolas possesses her.

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If I Hadn't Done It

Warren calls his ex-wife Judith to come pick up her mother and daughter. Their usual arguments ensue.

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Right?

Another surprise guest arrives - Father Asher, the local priest - with a fruitcake. As Asher is also unaware of the divorce, Linda continues to act as the sister. Panicking about her Jewish parents coming over, Linda decides that all the gatecrashers need to go.

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Interrogation

As Warren and Linda are figuring out what to do, Asher interrogates Tegan, to try and coax the demon out of hiding. Finally he pulls down her top to reveal the crucifix necklace is burning her chest; which is also when Warren and Linda walk in.

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Demons or Disease

Father Asher tries to convince Warren and Linda that Tegan is possessed. Linda is convinced it is mental illness, while Warren manages to shrug every argument off. When an exorcism is proposed, the attempt to usher Asher out of the house, but are stopped in their tracks by a supernatural display from Tegan. Warren helps Asher take Tegan to her bedroom to begin the exorcism. He also comes clean about Linda and the divorce.

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Hell or High Water

Warren and Linda have an argument over who should stay and who should go. They soon make up and conclude they'll do anything for each other. They kiss, just when Dot wakes up from a nap, and Judith enters. Dot tells Judith that Warren and Linda are incest, and Tegan is possessed. Warren explains the display as Tegan practicing her Latin and gymnastics. Judith also gaslights Dot, blaming it on too many sherries.

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Here To Stay

Warren checks on the exorcism, but is almost killed in the process. Warren tells Judith that Tegan is feeling ill, and should sleep for a bit longer. Warren blackmails Judith with spilling about her affair; to stay for dinner, and keep up appearances as a married couple. But as Linda's parents are coming over, she'll have to be in disguise as a maid. Judith's sister Bronwyn, and her teenage son Harley, arrive unannounced. To keep up the rouse, Judith blackmails her with her new lesbian partner. Asher continues to persuade the demon to leave Tegan, as Warren tries to persuade Bronwyn to leave the house. But both are having too much fun, and proclaim they're here to stay. Asher is knocked to the floor, and Tegan urinates in the vile of Holy Water. Then to Dot's horror, Tegan crawls backwards down the stairs. Linda overfills her sherry glass.

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Act Two

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Obligatory Family Christmas Photo

Linda's parents have arrived, and everyone is posing for a photo. Tensions are high with all the various secrets being kept and roles being played. Linda's parents Ruth and Saul are suspicious. Harley has a crush on Tegan. Tegan faints and Warren and Linda take her back upstairs.

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Hell or High Water (Reprise)

In the kitchen, Warren and Judith share an accidental kiss, which Dot also walks in on.

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Catch Myself

Judith tries to convince herself not to pursue Warren any longer, but fails and becomes convinced they belong together.

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A Perfect Christmas (Reprise)

With the family now subdued and the exorcism underway, it seems that their perfect Christmas might be a possibility. Soon though Tegan's bed starts rising from the floor and drops with a large thud, loosening her straps and knocking Asher over. The party rush up the stairs. Asher is flown under the bed at the last second, and Tegan appears to have knocked over a TV. The family go back down leaving Warren and Linda with Tegan. They discover Asher under the bed.

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Do It Faster

Warren and Linda convince Asher to wrap up the exorcism quickly, so they can bring Tegan back downstairs. To Asher's surprise it appears to work. So Asher can sneak out, Warren says he'll create a distraction.

God Rest You Merry Gentlemen

Warren plays God Rest You Merry Gentlemen at the piano to distract everyone, but Dot spots Father Asher sneaking down the stairs. Warren improvises that he's here as her present, to sing her favorite Christmas carol.

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O Holy Night

Father Asher sings O Holy Night badly. Dot joins in, and at the climax Tegan vomits on Dot. Father Asher leaves. Bronwyn suggests everyone take turns at looking after Tegan.

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Whispers

Linda, Warren, Judith, Bronwyn, and Harley all have separate but structurally similar encounters with Tegan; as she spills everyone's secrets to pit everyone against each other.

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No One Has To Know

Tegan, appearing apologetic for bullying Harley over the years, wants to make it up to Harley by sleeping with him. When Harley figures out she is possessed, he is faced with an immoral temptation and succumbs. In the middle of oral sex, Tegan screams "I'm still in here, help me!", and Harley is left traumatized.

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Devil Was In Me

Devil themed Christmas cracker jokes are read out, much to Tegan's amusement. Everyone's truth comes out. Father Asher bursts in and proclaims Tegan to be still possessed as she urinated in the Holy Water. Saul and Ruth leave in disgust. Everyone realizes that in the end, they were the ones possessed - by themselves. Asher tries to bring everyone's attention to the actual possession without any luck. They realize Dot has died.

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Finale

The lights flicker, then turn off, except for the Christmas lights. Tegan rises above the table. The Christmas tree spins, and then turns off. The Christmas lights come back on, and we see that they have been tied in nooses around Warren, Linda, Judith and Bronwyn, who are now hanging from the ceiling. Harley is in the kitchen and finds a large knife.
Asher looks to the Christmas tree and sees the ornament. He rushes to the tree and picks it up. Harley, having deliberated who to help, stabs Father Asher. Tegan and Harley kiss.